Is It Still Called a “Girl Crush” If We’re No Longer Girls?

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This is a debate we’ve been having at our office. Jen and I are past the age where we can rightly call ourselves girls, but “woman-crush” doesn’t have the same ring to it.  “Crush” itself is a word most of us don’t really use past high school but I think now it has its place. I personally love what Mindy Kaling’s character "Dr. Lahiri" has to say about it.

"I hate when people say 'girl crush.' No one’s gonna think you’re a lesbian if you just say 'crush.'" - Mindy Lahiri

Let’s go ahead and drop the word "girl" but keep "crush" because it distinguishes between a general admiration for a woman's values and accomplishments, like my admiration for Marie Curie, for example, from more of a reality-based awe towards a woman we wish were our best friend or that we would like to be more like.

Mindy Kaling falls into that latter camp for me.  We all seriously love Mindy Kaling at the BRIKA office. What’s not to love?  She’s approach-ably hilarious, says what she thinks on screen and off, is comfortable enough in her own skin to admit that sometimes she isn’t (comfortable), is the lead on a hit show and a highly successful writer in an industry dominated by men and oh yes, she is also a woman of Indian heritage. I grew up in a small town on the east coast of Canada with less than 30 Indian families. On TV though, we still lived in the time of the blond haired, blue eyed heroine. Any “brown” skin was usually represented by men, and through typical stereotypes (convenience store owner, taxi driver, the usual). To live in a time when a woman born of Indian heritage can be the female lead of a comedy on American network television is exciting, invigorating and inspiring. But what I most admire about Mindy is what  seems to be in true for all my personal female heroine's these days.  She is building a career around being herself.   Who she is is so perfectly aligned with what she does and the result is she is having a blast doing it. 

What makes you crush on someone and not another?  I think it is identifying with someone; seeing yourself in them but also seeing who you want to be.

"Who I have been is not who I am going to be" - Mindy Lahiri

 Who is your crush and why?

- Kena Paranjape, Co-Founder & Crafter of Brand



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